Steady Tonic

Last week Slate’s Stephen Metcalf explored the Sting we all know now — the pretentious, Jaguar-shilling, tantric lovemaking bore that can’t seem to create a simple catchy song without over-the-top emotive lyrics — to the clever, spare, and anti-bombastic sound of the Police. It’s quite a funny take, as evidenced by this:

High-minded self-regard has been to Sting’s star image what groupie-defiling sex once was to Led Zeppelin’s. Maybe this is why Sting, still a ludicrously photogenic man, has never looked anything less than stupid on his dozen or so album covers. (With one exception. On the live disc All This Time he manages to not strike a Derek Zoolander, and actually looks likable and sexy.)

While I can’t say that I think Sting is really bringing the sexy here, Metcalf is dead-on about the others.

Remember Sting with a sense of humor?

Meanwhile, the New York Times looks at how these grown men fit their egos into a rehearsal room and proceed to snipe at each other like teenagers.

All that remains to be seen — is there anyone actually excited about this reunion?

In reviewing this year’s Grammy telecast, much was said about the irony of dropping thousands of pounds of paper confetti on the country’s best-known environmentalist.  Other ironies abounded, including my favorite, via Idolator’s liveblog:

11:14 p.m. The confetti surrounds Al Gore like a million hanging chads.

But I, for one, was appalled at his enthusiastic reception from the music world. Is it not ironic that this very same community, just a few short decades ago, sneered at the crusading Gore? Not Al, but Tipper, of course. Where are you when we need you, Alanis?

So as the fickle lemmings of the recording industry displayed their “O” faces for their hero, was I the only loyal subject paying tribute to the former hero of the creative artist community?

I think not. Dee Snider, those about to rock, we salute you.

There are so many disturbing angles to this story, that one can’t read this without being outraged — nor without hearing boump-chicka-boump-boump and imagining Tara Reid’s star turn after it’s optioned for Skinemax. Via Defamer.

Welcome to the new Steady Tonic. Less girly stuff. More music and hard hitting news analysis of current events. Special guest stars. Just like the Love Boat.

Drop a line to tell us what you think.