Steady Tonic

Logistics/Location: Lolla’s stages are much farther apart. Pitchfork’s small stage is a closet (and apparently a fire hazard). Pitchfork allows chairs. Lolla allows re-entry. Pitchfork is right next to the Green Line. Lolla’s a few blocks from the Red, Brown, Blue and Purple. Pitchfork has a peaceful, tree-filled park. Lolla’s got that gorgeous skyline.

Winner: Lollapalooza. Nothing can beat that skyline.

Nostalgia: Pitchfork had its full night of old school — with ATP performances from Sonic Youth, Slint, and GZA – and headliners De La Soul. Lollapalooza had Daft Punk, Iggy and the Stooges, G-Love and Special Sauce, and headliners Pearl Jam.

Winner: Lollapalooza. The fact that both Daft Punk and Pearl Jam lived up to all expectations and Iggy’s set exceeded them gives Lolla the edge.

Crowd demographics: Lollapalooza is the Wrigley Field of music festivals – it attracts the types who are as happy chatting and drinking beer as they are watching the action. Pitchfork attracts the FANS, dude. It’s about the MUSIC, man, not about what you’re wearing, or the color of your wristband, or who you’re seen with, or who you write for or… oh…wait. Plus, neither festival wins points for ethnic diversity. Both had surprising (at least to this writer) representation from the quite young and quite old.

Winner: Draw

Food and Beverage: Lolla’s got a decent food selection from famous Chicago spots and the water and drink prices are not outrageous. They also added 24-ounce sport bottles filled with wine (and after each one sold, the bartenders would all scream “Bottle of Wiiiiiiine!”, presumably to herald the complete insanity one must possess to drink 24 ounces of wine in that fucking heat). Plus Vitamin Water XXX tastes contraband-tastic with smuggled vodka. Pitchfork’s got decent prices too and hometown brew Goose Island…but no light beer? Sorry…

Winner: Lollapalooza

Extras: Pitchfork’s side tent filled with local artists and vendors selling jewelry, clothes, and records — within earshot of the stages — provides a great diversion without sacrificing precious fest set time. The whole “check out and come back to me for your stuff” thing is odd, but not a deal-killer. Lolla’s got a karaoke booth, a Guitar Hero contest, airbrush tattooing, and countless other option I didn’t explore because I actually wanted to hear music.

Winner: Pitchfork. While Lolla’s diversions are plentiful, how many do you need over the course of a weekend packed with great performances? Quality, not quantity wins.

Finally — Performances: Sound issues marred some of this year’s Pitchfork performances (as with last year’s Lolla). Pitchfork is fantastic at introducing its crowds to innovators that still move bodies with their grooves (Battles, Deerhunter, Dan Deacon and Girl Talk). Lolla’s got yesterday’s innovators who are now headliners because they deserve it (Modest Mouse, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Blonde Redhead) and the bands that produce outright festival fun (The Polyphonic Spree, The Hold Steady, and I’m From Barcelona). Each fest had its personal standouts (Pitchfork: Califone, Grizzly Bear, The New Pornographers; Lollapalooza: The Hold Steady, Pearl Jam, Daft Punk, Apostle of Hustle—which may be afterglow from last year’s BSS performance)

Winner: Draw – call it a Mr. Rogers level copout but I find it hard to tell one fest it’s more special than the other.

Overall Winner: Chicago (Ok it’s corny, but it’s absolutely true. This is the best city in the world for music in the summertime. Stay tuned for the reviews of the Hideout Block Party and the Wilco show at Millennium Park.)

1. Choosing a lackluster Amy Winehouse over Lupe Fiasco (but at least getting to see a bit of Los Campesinos!)
2. Skipping Rhymefest for Cold War Kids, then having to fight through the hipster throng to get close, only to have sound bleed from Motion City Soundtrack drown them out – but goddamn those suburban teens love them some Motion City Soundtrack
3. Deciding that the rain during Patti Smith was too much to take, going for the exit and hearing her launch into “Because the Night”
4. Missing cameos everywhere: Eddie Vedder at Ben Harper and Kings of Leon, Ben Harper, Jim James, and Patti Smith at the kids stage, Chris Cornell joining Pearl Jam for “Temple of the Dog” – (jk)
5. CSS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF UNITED AIRLINES!!!

1. Not being able to get anywhere near the stage when Cold War Kids played
2. Not being able to get anywhere close to even the soundbooth when Modest Mouse played — guess My Morning Jacket with the symphony doesn’t appeal to most mainstream Lollatians
3. Again, for the second year, no TP for your bunghole on the last night
4. Watching people throw rolls of TP in celebration when there was no TP for your bunghole
5. Too many good bands too early (the 1900s, the Cribs, Dear and the Headlights, the Fratellis, Chin Up Chin Up)
6. Two words: sound bleed

Best Rant: Eddie Vedder taking on BP Amoco for building its Whiting, IN refining facility that will increase the amount of legal dumping into Lake Michigan. Come on Indiana – isn’t your lakefront dirty enough? Have you smelled yourself lately?

Worst Rant: Jim DeRogatis’ obsession with attacking Perry Farrell on the $64,000 cabanas. If some old fat fucks want to pay up for limited-view, one stage access spots where they still have to piss in portapotties, what do I care? My only request is that Perry puts that dough toward more TP in the plebian potties. And maybe a pair of fake tits for me just like his wife’s.

5 stars

The Hold Steady: the band and the crowd could not have been more into this performance, as evidenced by Craig Finn’s comment that they’ll be opening for the Stones in London this coming week, but that it can’t get any better than right here and now.

Pearl Jam: The skyline, the fireworks over Soldier Field that erupted during “Evenflow”, the entire crowd singing the first verse of “Better Man” without any accompaniment, and finally, Eddie Vedder ending up on Dennis Rodman’s shoulders. This was the nicest and happiest crowd of thousands I could have imagined. Oh…and jonesingest too…no fewer than 5 girls asked if I could sell them weed. I must have really looked like I was having a good time.

4 stars:

Daft Punk: Their sound exploded onto the field. Everywhere in sight, people were dancing and finding their own grooves. “Da Funk” and “Daftendirekt” were woven in expertly and the “Human”/”One More Time” finale brought the night to a perfect close. The only reason they don’t get five stars is, as previously stated, I think they were just cooking bacon and eggs up there.

I’m From Barcelona: it was stuffy, overcast and barely past noon when this Swedish group of about 130 musicians and dancers took the stage. The band’s twee sound floated over a pretty small crowd. As they hit the final notes of their anthemic “We’re From Barcelona”, there were unicorns’ voices spewing bubbles that transformed into rainbows. Dogs and cats hugged. And everyone was smiling.

Apostle of Hustle: There was barely anyone at this stage – I assume they were all watching Blue October and Paolo Nutini. The bass-heavy and latin-tinged trio played what seemed like almost all of their latest release “National Anthem of Nowhere”. I can’t understand Jim DeRo’s categorization of them as a jam band, throwing them in with moe. He must have spent all of three minutes at the stage.

Most surprising: seeing the Black Keys and Smoosh each get such decent sound out of two people (and in Smoosh’s case, a total of 30 years of age and 160 pounds). Anyone else get a strong Animal vibe from Smoosh’s drummer? The other one needs a straight iron and headband, and they’re totally the Muppet band. Runner up: LCD Soundsystem’s fantastic live performance of what I had assumed was a one-man show of loops and samples.

Best T-shirt sightings:

I (heart) hot moms

Italian Sausage (with arrow pointing down on barely covered gut)

The Man The Legend (with arrow pointing up for the former and down for the latter)

“Catfight” T-shirt with a kitten holding a gun in one hand and an axe in the other

THE WINNER:

Most popular band t-shirt: Any type of Wilco t-shirt

Runner up: The Rapture’s “People don’t dance no more” shiny block letter-t

Biggest surprise: not one “Come on feel the ILLINOISE” sighting (at least by this author).

Best fan efforts:

5. Noodle holders – never relaxing or relenting on the rhythm.

4. Stuffed chicken guy – the Jumbotron camera loves you.

3. The flag-as-cape wearers representing Canada, Ireland, Mexico and could only be described as the Republic of Weed.

2. The balloon holders in face paint, masks and animal appendages

1. Girl with the “Dirthole” tramp stamp.

Honorable mention: “Jesus” – the sweating, strung out guy in the “Jesus” t-shirt skipping non-stop through the field in front of the Petrillo shell through all of Pete Yorn and Stephen Marley (and perhaps the sets after we left).

W0000000T! It’s HERE!

Day 1 Hour 1:

It’s HOT. Caught Ted Leo + Pharmacists. It’s impressive that he was able to summon that energy in the heat. It’s more impressive that he decided to play given that his wife is reportedly beginning treatments for a medical condition.

Hour 2:

Haul ass across the field to catch The Polyphonic Spree in the midst of “Running Away” — and this stage is as loud as I’ve ever heard an outdoor stage. After bringing up a tap dance company (which makes about 50 people on stage total), they close with what must be the happiest version ever of “Lithium”. At least the volume means we can park in the shade for a few songs.

Hour 3:

Haul ass back the other way to catch Slightly Stoopid, who are billed as the heirs to Sublime. They win us over with a song that features a simple, to-the-point chorus of “BEEEAAAAAAATTTTTCCCHHH!”

This set is where we first spot the Noodles. We salute you, dedicated Noodle Operators, waving your neon styrofoam gauntlets with impressive rhythm and determination, never wilting in the sun.

Hour 4ish:

The Silversun Pickups attract a large crowd on the small stage, then tell us we really all should be watching Blonde Redhead next door. Thanks to the sound bleed, we can hear them too.

Hour 5 (or was it Beer 5?):

Back to the LOUD Bud Light stage, where the two guys in the Black Keys sound like seven.

Hour sunset: Fight back to the other end, where LCD Soundsystem has already begun. I was impressed by the live performance — “All My Friends” brings the crowd’s mood up to where it should for the upcoming headliners. It also brings out the dancing freaks, including the 6′6″ tall guy who could have just as easily been listening to “Maniac”.

Hour PARTYTIME!!:

With the opening notes to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Daft Punk’s pyramid and LCD backdrops go crazy, and so does the huge crowd. Does anyone really know what they are doing up there? They could be frying eggs and bacon.